It’s like screaming down the slide

It’s so hard to express that sudden feeling of relief when you finally, FINALLY read, reply to, organize, and delete EVERY SHRED OF EMAIL IN YOUR INBOX. It is simply euphoric. If I had to describe to someone how it feels for me, personally, I’d have to liken it to gliding precariously down one of those old-school jagged metal red-hot slides on the school playground. Yeah it was hot and would melt your flesh at some points, but that FEELING. Leaving everything behind with no worries! Nothing could get you moving faster than wearing a pair of polyester shorts on those slides. These days, they’re all plastic-y and probably covered with bubble wrap equipped with an inner-cooling core while a team of mothers and medical specialists wait alongside a nearby ambulance ready to catch the little heathens as they come screaming down the thing. However, I’m just speculating here.

BUT I DIGRESS. Horribly, in fact. I mean, I got so far off the subject there that I had to re-read the first couple of sentences to remember what I was talking about. But yes, the email! I’ve been putting off taking care of it for weeks and it was just piling up and piling up. After seriously considering clicking ‘delete all’ to just be done with it already, I actually felt better taking the time to go through it and decide it’s importance. Now I feel all motivated to do things and stuff. Today, my email, but tomorrow…the world!

For now, I’m off to attract even more email by searching for freelance writing job prospects. So far, I got nothing. I once read somewhere that Craigslist is a ‘wonderful’ source for writing gigs, but all I have gotten is a crap ton of spam and suspicious looking emails. I must be doing it wrong. Someone please share with me your secrets!

Homemade iced coffee drink

Finally! My site was down all day yesterday and I’ve been dying to post this recipe. I have simply called it “homemade iced coffee drink” because I really have no idea if it’s even on the same planet with ‘lattes’ or ‘cafe mochas’ or whatever the hell else people drink these days. Please feel free to call it whatever you want.

It was Sunday afternoon, and I suddenly had a hankering for a drink like this. I know that lots of fast food places serve these beverages now. But, the first thing I thought of was a.) We live at least 10 miles away from the nearest fast-food restaurant, and b.) There’s no way that I’m going to drive all the way there, then pay upwards of $5 at the window for one of these things. I mean, I wanted one, but I didn’t OMGWANT one.

I took a quick inventory of what I had in the house and came up with this. It was a big hit with big guy and little guy as well. Remember, all ingredients are approximate and can be substituted, reduced, or left out all together. Please enjoy and don’t pay those high dollars for coffee and milk that you probably have at home right now!

What You Need
NO BLENDER REQUIRED!

• 2-4 Cups brewed coffee, room temperature or chilled
• 3-4 Tbsp. vanilla ice-cream
• 1/3 Cup milk
• ¹ Enough crushed ice to fill the glass 3/4 of the way
• Chocolate syrup, for garnish
• Whipped topping (in the can or the tub, whatever you have.)
• Large drinking glass

What To Do
» Scoop ice-cream into glass and add milk. Stir vigorously to blend. Mixture should be on the thick side, almost milkshake consistency. Fill glass no more than 3/4 of the way with crushed ice. Add 1-1½ cups of brewed coffee; stir to blend. If desired, add a squirt of chocolate syrup at this point and stir. Top with whipped topping and lightly drizzle with chocolate syrup. Straw required.

And that’s all there is to it! Obviously this beverage isn’t the healthiest of drink options, but as with everything else, drink in moderation. For kids, you can easily cut the amount of coffee in half and replace with milk, or remove coffee altogether and entirely use milk.

¹ If you aren’t blessed with an ice maker in your freezer and have to use ice trays like I do, then you know that regular ice cubes are just too big. To crush ice, I add several ice cubes to a ziptop bag, get out a hammer, and let out my daily frustrations. However, be careful not to crush ice into a powder, you only want to crush each cube into a few smaller pieces.