While I’m sure most of the other kids decided they were going to be doctors, firefighters, chefs, and ballerinas, he decided to kick the bad assery level up a notch.

Complete with visual aid.

He is definitely his father’s child.

I was never this BA as a kid. I wanted to be a singer, then a vet, an explorer, a dancer, and a marine biologist (or as I knew it at the time – “the people who study fish and stuff”).

What did you want to be when you grew up? And did those plans ever come to fruition?
EXTRA POINTS if you draw a picture of it!

I’ve truly waited so long to be able to say that.

Now, to most people I realize that this is nothing amazing. But to us, it’s kind of a big deal. We’ve wanted two vehicles for years but never had the finances or the right opportunity. And when both you and your spouse/partner work outside the home, juggling schedules and mooching off your parents SUCKS. But NO MORE.

We bought a 1990 Chevy Silverado. We really couldn’t be more proud of it. Sure, it’s old, it’s kinda beat up, dirty, with various other problems. But it’s OURS. We PAID for it on our own, no loan or parental help needed. For the first time in our lives.

I feel very accomplished. We didn’t rush into the situation or jump blindly into anything. We had to decide between finding a not-so-perfect older model vehicle sold by an owner, or dealing with an extra payment for the next several years in order to be able to have a new one.

And I happily decline monthly payments on anything if I’m able. We don’t try to keep up with the Jones’s anyway. (But that doesn’t mean that I won’t want something new in the future!)

So now I’m curious. Tell me what kind of car(s) you have! How many do you own and what is your dream car?

It took me three different trips to Wal-Mart to find all of the supplies that the 1st grade teachers are demanding this year. For one thing, they want each child to have 3 specific colored folders – 2 plain orange and 1 plain red. Now, you wouldn’t think that finding 2 orange folders and 1 red folder would be all that difficult, but let me tell you, IT IS. And I really want, like from way down deep within my soul, to burn every Wal-Mart in my vicinity to the ground for being such an epic clusterfuck inside. School supplies were all piled up in the first few aisles, strewn all over the floor from the ravenous shebeasts trying to ensure that their child got all the cool shit first. And amongst this mess, the only folders I could find in the correct colors were shitty – like made out of paper and floppy. Folders for MY son’s class have to be “DURABLE” and “LAMINATED PLASTIC” and “NOT PAPER” to quote the list exactly.

Why the hell do they even make folders like that anyway? Yeah, that’s what I want holding my papers together, MORE PAPER only thicker.

Anyway, I finally got sick of rummaging through the back-to-school aisles and tripping over everything, so I sought out the office supplies, hoping I’d have more luck there. And what do you know? I dug and dug through every colored folder imaginable (except those that I needed, of course) until I FINALLY found the 2 orange and 1 red. I just so happened to guard them with my life just in case.

I’ve never had that much hassle trying to school shop before. And I swear to God if anything happens to these folders, I’m going to punch Mrs. FirstGradeTeacherLady in her face. And ask her what she has against all of the other colors in the rainbow. I worked hard for those things.

Despite all of THAT nonsense, he’s ready to get back to school. Even more now that I gave him a totally BA mowhawk. Saving money on haircuts is so punk rock.

My husband worked his ass off this month and was lucky enough to receive a bonus check for it. Pretty impressive considering the fact that I harass him daily while at work via Yahoo Messenger. We had this little exchange this afternoon:

Josh: 371.19
Me: huh?
Josh: My bonus amount
Me: WOOO HOOO! So you did get it!
Josh: Yea Yay Yay
Me: That’s great.
Josh: I’m happy…. I’m buying an xbox
Me: WHAT? lol. we’re supposed to be saving and paying off our debts, silly!
Josh: Yes but I want an xbox
Me: I know but… ghilghdlsgnlsd;heruia;hgdasl;
Josh: Asl? Haha 26 m ky
Me: LOL didn’t even realize I put that.
Me: I’m 22/f/ky r u HORNEE?
Josh: Yes I am… I am buying an xbox though

And there you have it. No time to be HORNEE when you have money burning a hole in your pocket and shiny new Xbox’s out there as far as the eye can see.

It was mine and Josh’s vacation. No work, no school for Dylan, and pretty much no responsibilities for a change! I almost didn’t know what to do with myself!

Aside from being complete lazy slobs and sitting around playing Playstation all day, I managed to find time to pick up a new hobby.

This is going to be a granny square blanket for Dylan – in his school colors of course! I’m on square #8 right now (I think, hell I have a stack already and I’m not sure). Dare I say I *think* I’ve pretty much mastered the granny square now. I like them. Which is good, because according to my measurements, 10 squares wide by 12 squares tall = 120 FREAKING SQUARES. Damn. Maybe I’ll have it completed by the time he’s in high school. But then these wouldn’t be his school colors anymore. DOUBLE DAMN.

I told Josh I needed to teach him how to crochet these things so we could get it done in half the time. He didn’t much like the idea.

I really enjoy crocheting so far. Now that I know how to knit AND crochet (sort of), I can’t decide which I like better. The stitches are so different yet both are equally awesome.

For those of you that do both, which do you prefer and why?
For those of you that have absolutely no interest in my old lady hobbies, what is something new that you’ve learned to do lately?

But I digress. So they were going on about ways to “prevent” the hazards (oddly, the suggestion of shutting the hell up and paying attention to the damn road was never mentioned) when Josh turns to me and says,

“You know, I get tired of hearing about this. Why won’t phone manufacturers just create a voice-to-text type thing so that you can talk to the phone and it will type out your text?”

“Oh, you know I think I heard about that,” I said, “it’s called the telephone. Really revolutionary. You dial this number and then you can actually friggin TALK to the person on the other end! No typing required! Like you can hear their voices and everything!”

He had a look on his face that said ‘I want to punch you in the face right now’ and ‘I can’t believe I just said that’ simultaneously.

Why make it hard by finding 5623529 different indirect ways to communicate with another person?

To sum it all up: Smart phones are both insanely awesome and incessantly annoying. And unlike every news anchor you’ve ever watched, I’m not going to lecture about not texting while driving. But I will say that if anyone ever mows me down on the highway because they couldn’t bear the thought of unplugging from their precious Twitter or funny IM with the person in the back seat, they’re going to need an app for removing shards of plastic from their ass. And remember, where others don’t, Droid does.

1.) Outdoor activities – I love being outdoors, swimming and/or having a barbecue with friends and family. The taste of grilled food (burgers, hot dogs, vegetables, even pineapple) is something that you just can’t get year round and I look forward to it always. The dogs are always out enjoying soaking up the sunshine, birds are chirping, clouds big and fluffy…it takes me to a special place.

2.) Ice cream and popcicles – So I know that you can eat this any time of year. But really, I never want to in the winter time. Something about coming in from the heat and feeling that cold on your lips is refreshing and full of awesomeness.

3.) Summer blockbusters – Seems like tons of good movies always come out every summer. It’s always fun to go to the theater and see one, though now not as often because, well, have you BEEN to a movie lately? I practically have to spend half my week’s pay just to go, maybe have popcorn and a little dinner afterward.

4.) It’s easy to get ready and get out the door – Hello, summer clothing! I love the fact that when we decide to go somewhere during the summer, all I have to do is throw my hair up in a ponytail and put on some flip-flops. Did I mention that we’re not the most fashionable people? Shorts, tanks, and flip-flops FTW.

5.) Celebrating the 4th of July – I’d be one shitty American if I didn’t mention this on my list of awesome summer stuff. We love the fireworks, food, and spending time with family. Just a few common things that all Americans partake in and enjoy at the same time.

One of the big things my son loves about summer are of course, the animals. Late in the evening, we’ve been seeing a little family of bunnies emerge from the woods behind our house and explore the backyard. They hop around cautiously until they come upon a cluster of clover which is apparently DELICIOUS because they devour it in no time. We like to watch them, and every time Dylan tries to convince me that we should go out there and try to catch one. He wants a bunny as a pet. Also what he wants as a pet: a dolphin for our swimming pool. But something tells me that a bunny would be easier to maintain.

What are some of your favorite things about summer?

Anyway, I’m finally in the mood to share words and not just pictures since I’ve been fairly absent for a couple of weeks now. All in all, I can’t complain. Life is swell.

My son turned 6 years old on the 26th. We had a party and ice cream cake and plenty of good times with the family. I’m both sad AND thrilled that he’s 6 now, even though it seemed like yesterday he was toddling along behind me pointing at things in a demanding manner. But he’s a little fountain of knowledge now, and talking to him is finally interesting. Like he knows how to read and recites the pledge of allegiance AND can name all the planets in the solar system. He’s been telling me how excited he is about returning to school in August (1st grade, holy cow). I hope he keeps that enthusiasm for school, but I’m not getting my hopes up. I remember what it was like.

As some of you may have noticed, I’ve changed the looks of things around here once again. It’s taken me a few days to get things shuffled around and in order, but I think I’m finally happy with the way this theme turned out. Granted, I say this knowing that in a few weeks I’ll be bored of it and will have the urge to start all over again. But I plan on enjoying this little time of web zen while it lasts.

How has June treated you?

But I didn’t realize he was a politician until after answering the call. I looked at the caller ID and studied the name for a second (yeah, I’m a call screener, so sue me), and though it sounded familiar, I could NOT place the name for the life of me.

So I answered.

“Hello this is [politician's name] calling for [not my name, or anyone I know]. Are they around?” He asked.

Then, I recognized the name…the guy that advertises his face all over everything that will hold pigment. Why couldn’t I have realized sooner?

“No sir I’m sorry, you have the wrong number,” I said…nicely.

“You don’t know them at all?”

“..No.”

And there’s nothing I hate more than an overly quizzical wrong number caller. I expected him to move on. But like any annoyingly effective politician, they HAVE to make sure that you know who you’re talking to. And not ONLY is he a politician…he’s also a local attorney. A tidbit of info that I would not have known had he not called. And I still don’t care.

“I was trying to get a hold of [name] from the [city] area and yours was the closest name in the phone book…” he lingered.

“…Okay…?”

What, did he want me to just make a contribution or something? Tell him what I had for lunch? Have phone sex? GET OFF MY PHONE, CREEPY OLD GUY. Nothing is more awkward than carrying on pointless conversation with someone on the phone whom you don’t know.

Apparently I need to brush up on my call screening abilities.

Her assumptions about my love of stray cat hairz are completely wrong.