Selfish moms; recycled daddies

07/07/09 · Filed in Uncategorized

A daughter is a mother’s gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension of her self. And mothers are their daughters’ role model, their biological and emotional road map, the arbiter of all their relationships. – Victoria Secunda

Children are never able to choose the parents they want, but must deal with the ones they are given. And hopefully, you end up with good ones that will love you and nurture you as you grow. As parents, specifically mothers, it is our job to ensure the health and happiness of our children, and to guide them on their journeys of becoming well-rounded, contributing adult members of society.

That’s why it bothers me to see so many mothers put their own selfish needs and ambitions first while playing an emotional game of ping-pong with those of their children. You probably know or have heard of a few mothers that do this, as do I. Back-and-forth, back-and-forth for however long it takes for mom to be satisfied with the circumstances of HER life. How are you able to raise happy, functional adults when you’re too busy completely messing up their lives from birth with all of your lust interests while simultaneously dragging them with you into a dysfunctional mock-family? These are the women that claim they LOVE their kids and they’d do ANYTHING for their kids, they’d even DIE for their kids. Then, they turn around and show up with a different ‘daddy’ every few months or so – or whenever the one before surprisingly doesn’t work out. Why should anyone believe you’d do anything for the benefit of your children when you won’t even think of them before bringing home the first available penis that walks through the door? I guess the needs of the children are only worth fulfilling once yours have been satiated. That’s what they forget to tell you when they go on and on about how much their children mean to them.

It breaks my heart to witness (first-hand) little girls being told that so-and-so is their new ‘Daddy’ when the mother has only been ‘OMG so in lurrrrvvvveeee’ with him for a couple of weeks. It breaks my heart even more to think about these same little girls, and so many more with similar circumstances, down the road in a few years time repeating the same vicious cycle, desperately seeking the approval of a man to feel worthy. And if any children result from their quest for true love? So be it. Bring them along for the tumultuous ride. So what if they’re left feeling inadequate and confused? Mom had to get her man.

There are so many excuses for why this happens, and frankly, none of them are justifiable. I get tired of hearing them, to be honest. It is time to grow a backbone and stand on your own two feet. Man up, and take responsibility for your life and the ones that you were responsible for bringing into this world.

“But, I’m scared to be alone! I don’t like it!” – Sorry, you’ll get no sympathy from me. The welfare of your children trump your desire to bring home fresh meat, so this is one of those situations where a mother might have to, you know, sacrifice something for once. No one has ever endured a happy relationship because they were scared of being alone. If it’s a happy relationship you want, you’ll have to gain a little confidence in your abilities, and deal with the bad feelings sometimes.

“But, the kids need a daddy.” – No, they don’t. Single women are perfectly capable of raising happy children. That doesn’t mean that it’s an easy thing to do, but it can be done. Even if you do find a man who is willing and is suitable for being a father-figure to them, that’s more-or-less their choice to make. If he’s a bad man, you’d be surprised how quickly your child(ren) will pick up on it. And you can’t ignore that just because he has a Harley or a house in the Hills.

“But, I don’t have a job, I need his financial support!” – Again, grow a pair, go out and support your children by whatever (legal) means necessary. It’s foolish to sit around and wait for someone to come along and take care of you. Take the reins of your life and learn to take care of you and your own. Women haven’t been fighting, picketing, protesting, and marching for equality for hundreds of years just so you can sit around on your ass being hopelessly dependent on a man to be happy and financially secure.

I guess I’ve really forgotten where I was going with this, other than to get it off my chest. The bottom line is, children are the ones that suffer in situations like this where the mother is too absorbed with herself and the current man she’s involved with to even give a shit about what her children see and end up doing later in life. After all, we aren’t raising children, we’re raising adults, and we owe it to them to give them the best lives possible. Even if it means making sacrifices.

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