I blog about my daily adventures, crafting (knit/crochet), art, photography, & more. I'm sometimes funny, sometimes somber, sometimes neither, but always myself. 
The slim down project – week #2
05/18/10 · Filed in Weight Loss
Last week I made the decision to start exercising consistently, and I’m happy to say that I’ve stuck with it thus far.
Even though it isn’t easy and I’ve been tempted to just give it up already. Yes, I know it’s only been a week. I also know that I sound hopelessly pathetic right now. Everything was going great, though. I stepped on the scale yesterday morning hoping to see a little concrete evidence of my hard work (and I do mean hard – The Biggest Loser trainers don’t play around).
I didn’t lose a single ounce. I stepped on it a second time, just to be sure. The number was the same. It was at that moment that a twinge of disappointed washed over, but I recited to myself what I’ve read, heard, and learned to be true already: that progress takes a little while, that it’s not the number on the scale that counts, that by keeping on things will get better. For the moment, I pushed away those feelings and did my workout anyway.
The whole time, however, that nagging feeling was there. The little voice asking me why am I even bothering. When I was finished, I took a shower and got ready for the rest of my day. It was about an hour later while I was brushing my teeth that it happened. The tears started falling. And I hated myself for it. There I was crying over nothing and I couldn’t help it. Like not losing at least a pound after a week was the end of the world. But, the tears kept coming anyway. And with them came feelings of hopelessness and anger that only made things worse. I kept reminding myself that there are people in this world with real problems and crying over this was the dumbest thing ever.
My husband noticed and tried to comfort me. He was there, talking to me, being supportive and optimistic. I knew that these feelings weren’t helping me, and that I obviously needed to work harder and put forth more of an effort this week. Which is what I resolved to do by yesterday afternoon. I even bought another biggest loser DVD while out and about.
I woke up this morning depressed. My husband and I ended up in an argument last night before bed, and though I tried to sleep it off hoping for things to be better this morning, I still woke up in a bad mood. Of course, I lay in bed for a while arguing with myself about why I should still exercise, and then why I shouldn’t, or didn’t feel like it. I knew life was going to get in the way at some point.
I didn’t exercise today. We’ve made up since this morning, but lingering bad feelings are still present and I can’t shake them. I know skipping one day won’t undo what I’ve done so far (which according to the scale is absolutely nothing), but I feel guilty. Like I’m only cheating myself, but on the other hand I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I still can’t. Things just aren’t right right now. I’d rather curl up in the dark and be alone.
I know tomorrow is another day. I’m trying to keep a positive outlook. Whatever is going on with me today, I’m determined to get over before tomorrow and I’m going to keep going. I’m going to reach my goals.
I think finding the strength and determination to keep going when things seem dark and hopeless is the hardest thing about committing to weight loss.
Twitter:oceansaway
Oh man – listen – okay. First of all, I *know* that it never ever helps when people are all like, “I’ve been there and it gets better! Here’s what you need to do.” It’s mostly annoying – and hearing about other people’s weight loss (success) usually made me feel even less capable.
But. BUT. You’re so right about having to stay with it even when it seems like all the hard work is not paying off! I’ve tried to loose weight for years; tried countless times – and always gave up because one pound lost after three weeks of working out didn’t seem to be worth it. But after 2 pounds and then 3 and then 10, it feels absolutely amazing. Like, the greatest achievement ever (which is of course somewhat ridiculous in itself but still). I’ve already lost a lot but it’s taken me SIX MONTHS to get here. And I’m am still faaar from achieving my goal. I’m stuck right now and can’t get back on track, and I’ve cried about it several times… Thrown full-blown tantrums alone in my apartment, in fact. Not pretty but necessary to work through the disappointments and setbacks.
It’s frustrating how much work it is. Not having lost “a single ounce” SUCKS. It’s not exactly encouraging. But I was wondering, could it be that, perhaps, you’ve gained muscle (b/c of working out) which balanced out any weight that you may already have lost?
This comment is too long and I probably come off like a total smartass… But seriously, hun, I’m crossing my fingers for you because sticking to it for a whole week is a first big success and it WILL PAY OFF. <3
[Reply]
Twitter:Twitter ID (Optional)
Don’t get discouraged after one week, keep on truckin’! Results are bound to show up soon.
[Reply]